I've been super bad about writing everyday, which was my initial goal. Woops.
Maybe that will be my New Years Resolution...?
Well, I'm back in Huntsville, trying to get my life together for the real world. I hate that I had to cut my vacation in Abilene short, but I gotta get things done...and relaxing really wasn't going to fully happen until then. So alas, I'm back in my home away from home away from home. (My studio.)
As I work, I keep replaying this video...it makes me feel more at home.
That would be my brother playing his new guitar and singing with his new mic. A very wonderful way to spend our Christmas afternoon.
You know it's Christmas Eve when we take pictures by the tree in colorful pajamas.
(I'm pretty sure we took about 18 pictures in this same pose over the holiday break. And I don't mind it one bit.)
Sorry for the shortness and almost zero recap of my Abilene vacation. Time is a tickin' people.
As I crawl into bed on this cold Christmas night I'm thinking about all of the blessings in my life. There are so many, so I won't name them. (Okay, just a few, my wonderfully fun family, my lovely friends, my beautiful home, and of course, fresh flowers that grace my presence every few weeks.)
With all of those in mind, I'm also thinking about what my mom said today in her sermon. (Thumbs up to you Mom.) This idea really struck a cord with me today...God meets us where we are. He doesn't wait for us to 'get it together' then come; he meets us exactly where we are at that time. And gives us what we need to get to the next day.
With this beautiful thought, I'm wondering how I can be more like that? The only thing that gets in my (and I'm gonna go out on a limb here) and say everyones way, is pride. Why is the idea of 'you can only give this much, and thats okay. I will still be here.' so hard to swallow? Pride. I don't want to live with this 'you did this for me, so I will only do this much' motto. I want to give more to every relationship in my life because at the end of the day, I will never regret giving a little extra to make someone else feel special, loved and noticed. I know it isn't New Years, so a resolution is about 5 days premature, but why not start now?
This is my Christmas Resolution. I will not let others actions, words or lack there of make me less than who I am and less than who I want to be. I will start meeting people where they are, instead of waiting for them to be where I am.
However, this change will not mean getting taken advantage of. There is a difference between getting walked on and simply trying to be a bright spot in someones day. I will try to be the bright spot, not the carpet. I should point out that being a positive in someones life (whether they acknowledge it or not) is one of my favorite positives I have in my own life. I love what a simple act of kindness can do for ones soul.
So here we go...Christmas Resolution 2011.
Joy is the name of the game.
If I Could Sing, I'd Do A Cover Of This
The Cave
Mumford & Sons
Why:"But I will hold on hope, and I won't let you choke on the noose around your neck." That line is exactly what I'm talking about tonight. I don't want to wait for people to get themselves out of their 'noose', I want to be there with them, and hopefully with a simple smile, and maybe a cup of coco, I can help.
First off, this break has been filled with surprisingly epic-ness. Granted, the official Abilene Boredom has in fact, set in...but at least one eventful thing has happened each day. Rather than listing them and going into detail...I've decided to make a list of what I believe to be the 'musts' for the holiday season.
I Believe...
1. Donuts for at least 4 breakfasts a week is completely normal.
2. Surprise visits from dear friends make any life 'issue' fade away.
3. The Hallmark channel is the only channel to watch.
4. Hot chocolate is a replacement for water.
5. Christmas shopping is the only thing to do all day.
6. Everyday should be ended with a beer from Bedfords with friends.
7. Wearing my pajama pants until I go to Bedfords is totally acceptable.
8. Taking the long way to look at obnoxiously decorated homes is the only way to get anywhere after 5 p.m.
9. Themed and color coordinated wrapping is a simple but important thing.
10. The cliche quote "distance makes the heart grow fonder" is true, even more so for friendships.
11. The Christmas Spirit is contagious.
Happy Holidays Everyone!
The sign I found on my parents bedroom door last night. Classic.
Before I left Huntsville on Friday, I realized/noticed something. The trees finally started to catch up to the month we're in. (It's about time nature. it's about time.)
My favorite tree of the season.
After I noticed 'fall' had come, I loaded up my car and noticed something else. (I never thought I'd say this...) but I might own too much Vera Bradley. Seriously, it looks like she threw up in my car.
That would be 1 hanging bag, 1 computer bag, 1 makeup bag, and 3 different sized duffles.
See my reasoning for the absurd quote I just made?
Well, I'm back in the hometown and it's been most enjoyable thus far. My boredom hasn't set in yet, and I give full credit to 3 things.
1. Greg and Trudy were also in town.
2. Being busy with family activities.
3. My mother in general.
The gang after the first Christmas celebration.
However, now the 'gang' has left due to adult jobs, the family stuff is out of the way as of 2 o'clock this afternoon and there is only so much shopping one can do with Louise. (did I just say that? Geez. I'm really losin' it today.)
While I so much need a break, I still find myself stressed about everything I need to be doing for college/adult world. As much as I would love to do these things to check them off the list, and feel like I can finally take a true break...I can't. Because I'm home and less a studio. I've gotten so use to having it 2 minutes away that is seems almost a must for any creative processing to happen.
Since I cannot work on what I feel like I 'need' to...I will work on other creative things that don't benefit me, but others. Christmas gift making has begun.
Wish me luck.
*Luck is needed for 3 things. 1: I don't go crazy this break. 2: I get all Christmas gifts and college/real world things done. 3: I get to a point that I feel comfortable enough to not do anything.
With little complaint, I somehow wrangled the whole team together for a big group photo. Epic is the biggest understatement of the year. Pretty sure I have the best group of friends. (if it isn't clear from the photos.)
Happy Wednesday Everyone.
I'm so happy we have this and can look back on it in 50 years.
Goofy.
The 'Studio Gang' (all of us that have studios)
*Not Photographed but deeply loved and missed, Catherine.
It's amazingly horrible that a sneak attack of the shingles is the only thing that can make me slow down.
In my slowness today, I made two scarves, ate a massive baked potato, watched 2 Christmas LifeTime movies and crocheted a mini hat for Bindi.
The cutest thing I've seen in a while.
If this is what Christmas break will be like....um. I'm not sure if I can do this for a month. I hate not being productive. Which is weird because as a child I was like the laziest kid ever. I guess I'm making up for those first 12 years or something.
However, I did have plenty of time to look around on Pintrest (cough all day cough) and get some inspiration for new art.
I make pillows. Why didn't I think to do this yet?
Well, it's 9 o'clock and I think my bed is calling me.
For that sentence alone, I'm tempted to say 'thank you' to my shingles. But that's weird and gross.
If I Could Sing, I'd Do A Cover Of This
Dance Dance Dance
(Neil Young Cover)
Mumford & Sons
Why: Um. This song hasn't stop playing in my car for the past week.
This week has be out.of.con.trol. But fabulous as well! Granted sleep has not been an activity I've got to enjoy, but that is okay. I was in the Student Art Association Juried Show this week. For those of you who aren't in the 'art world' or know things about it, a juried show is when a judge comes in and picks the best pieces and gives a cash prize. And I'll be darn, I won Best 3D Piece!! I'm so honored, there were some amazing sculpture entered.
My winning piece.
Clearly, that was one highlight of the week. Along with getting our tiny, but beautiful Christmas Tree up! There is something about waking up and walking into the living room and seeing the tree all lit up! That was my favorite thing when I was a child. Mad props to you Louise for always being awake before us to do that simple but wonderful task.
Note the gnome and dog ornaments.
This tree couldn't belong to anyone but Paige and I.
Finals are next week, and I'm actually prepared for them! Then it's off to Abilene for holiday. Bittersweet. I'm going to miss all my friends and life here...but vacations in Abilene never seem to be boring. I'm looking forward to being home with my family and friends for a while. So let's get these finals knocked out and get to sipping hot coco by the tree!
If I Could Sing, I'd Do A Cover Of This
Flight Of The Crow
Passenger
Why: I need some mellowness and poetic lyrics this week.
Lately I've had many friends bring up this topic : 'I don't want a relationship'. I get that. But what I want to ask them is 'Well, are we friends?' the correct answer would be yes, then I would follow up with
'Then you are in a relationship.'
I'm wondering what the difference is between a great friendship and a great romantic relationship? If I knew how to make a flow chart, that would be happening, however, I do not. A comparison list will have to do.
FriendshipRomantic Relationship
Communication Communication
Trust Trust
Loyalty Loyalty
Humor Humor
Common Interests Common Interests
Putting in effort Putting in effort
Physical Attraction
Honesty Honesty
Apologizing Apologizing
Forgiving Forgiving
Show appreciation Show appreciation
Hugs Hugs
Clearly I don't know how to make a properly aligned comparison list either. Sorry team.
Granted, I am NO relationship expert. But I've had my fair share of relationships, and all of them included at least some of these qualities. So why do people say they don't want a relationship when really, they are only in relationships. Yes, yes, I get that with a romantic one comes different emotions, different risks and different 'time requirements'. But don't we all take those same risks with a friend? I'm pretty sure that if I found out one of my best friends was betraying me or not fulfilling one of these qualities, I would be hurt or more likely to want to stop being their friend.
Can anyone help me out on this concept that I'm clearly missing? Because according to my chart, the only 'key to a successful relationship' is physical attraction.
Kissing is what separates us from our friends and our 'persons'.
I take all of my relationships, romantic and platonic very seriously and with great amounts of love. I don't feel like that is so off base for most, so why around every corner this week am I finding people saying these things?
What I realized today is that it isn't that people don't want a relationship, they don't want to get hurt. The fear of getting hurt is all holding us back from certain relationship at times.
Because I'm not sure of anyone in their right mind that would say, 'Gah. I hate feeling loved. I hate that someone wants to spend time with me. I hate having someone that I can always go to. I just hate it all.' Um. Yah. Only a crazy would say that.
I'm not really sure why I wrote about all of this today. Most of my art is about relationships, so these ideas are in constant movement in my mind. I think I just needed to send it out into the void that is the internet to get it off my mind for just a minute. Again, those moments where I'm not thinking about such 'heavy' topics are refreshing.
I guess what could sum up this post is a quote (that I just made up, maybe it will catch on like wild fire and end up on Pintrest in a kitsch graphic design poster).
"As for me, I will choose relationships with people who matter, rather than the relationship with fear."
If I Could Sing, I'd Do A Cover Of This
Desire Ryan Adams Why: I like the last line, "...that you run and never tire..." I think that is how all relationships in life should be. Putting in all your effort and never running out of steam, because hopefully, that person on the other side of the relationship is doing the same, thus no steam being lost.
I knew yesterday was going to be chill...but I had no idea it was going to be this Epicly Chill. And perfectly lovely.
Wyatt. Might be my favorite dog ever. Even more so now that he is more than willing to wear pet pajamas.
Seriously, I love him.
After getting this cutie all dolled up, the guys started playing guitars. I just relaxed on the couch with a beer and a snuggly dog in a onsie while the boys played some blues. Check out the 'video' for the audio of it.
There's something about a clean room on a Saturday afternoon that just makes you say 'Awe, life is right.' While Bindi (Paige's new puppy) is quietly laying in here as I have a cup of tea and write...I can't think of a single thing I need to do today that is a 'must'.
Bindi. At times the craziest dog in the world, but right now she's pretty cute.
I have this feeling of wanting to write but I have nothing on my mind. And that is such a lovely place to be. Especially this week. Maybe I'm finally reaching that point of just being still. I think all I really needed was a week were I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off to teach me to just stop, be quiet and rest. So that is what I will be doing today. Well that and having a couple of drinks on a porch with friends. Like I said, all is right in Julia World today. Hope this finds you in a similar place
If I Could Sing, I'd Do A Cover Of This
Peaceful Easy Feeling
The Eagles
Why: The mellowness of this is just right for today. And in general, this song suits my life at the current moment.
Productive Julia was in full mode today. And it totally rocked! Not only did I get a ton done that I needed to...I also had time to spend doing a 'project' I've been thinking about for a while. It only took an hour...but that hour of simply doing something for myself, no grade will to be earned...that was just what I needed.
As an art student, there is a fine line between making work because you need it for a grade,and making work because you need it for your soul.
Today was a good art day in every sense of the word.
Because today, I got to do both.
Along with getting my life together a little, I also had the most lovely night. I had no idea that all I needed was a night sitting in Beth's studio, reading aloud the newest Cosmo to refresh and recharge me from this week. Between the endless horoscope readings, the absurd things guys say and interesting ideas for clothing choices, there was only laughter and pure joy with my dear friends tonight. And a quote that sums it all up
"Cosmo is always right!!"
I cannot think of a single thing that could have made me feel this blessed, loved and above all else, instill the opinion/fact that I am a funny person. (FYI: if you want to get on my good side, laugh at my jokes. I eat that shit up.) But for real, we have these amazing studios and what is most amazing is the people I'm with. I could never have asked for a better environment to create art. I'm surrounded by people who love to talk through ideas with me, laugh with me, eat cookies, and in general, just hang out for no reason but to be together. I think I said it about 10 times through out this crazy week, "I just love that we are all up here...all together!!" (Every night this week we have all been there till at least 1 A.M.)
Its kind of hard to explain, but we have this community that makes 'working' even more enjoyable. I get to express my thoughts and ideas every day as an artist, but to have people around that are doing the same, and they want to talk about both mine and theirs...that is such a gift. I keep talking about how I want to get a whole group photo of us. I'm pretty sure the boys think I'm silly for this but I don't ever want to forget these memories I'm making with them. And every time I mention the photo, the only thing that flashes through my head is the photograph of the Order of the Phoenix from Harry Potter. Maybe because they were all together, fighting for a cause that was important to them. I think that is what we are doing, we have no choice but to create art, it is in our hearts, minds and bodies, we simply have to do it. In general, I love the Studio Gang. I've put us in sub sections (aka: who is in which studio) and this is how I will now refer to each of them.
Meredith and I : The Singles
Beth and Catherine: The Mama's
Daniel, Nic, and Stephen: The Men
When this group photo happens, it will obviously be posted on there. So hold tight my friends. Hopefully not much longer!
One last thing, I'm starting a new thing on the blog. Music is such a big part of my every day life, so I'm going to share a song every post that is either representative of what is going on in Julia World, or just a song that I've had on repeat for no reason.
Today we have: Try by Jillian Edwards
Why: Something about this song has pulled me in today. I'm not sure if it's her voice that is so hypnotic or the lyrics but I've had this on constant repeat for about 3 hours.
I like this idea of consciously putting effort into a relationship. I'm one thousand percent sure that is the key to any successful relationship in life. Whether that be with God, your family, your friends, your person (boyfriend/girlfriend) and even the relationship you have with yourself. It's all about trying and giving your most to make it the best.
Either way, this is the first appearance of the what will now be referred to as
Finals are upon me and HELLO STRESS! So far only one break down this week (yes, I'm aware it is only Wednesday.But that's pretty good considering everything I have to do.) The most time consuming part of getting things together for finals is my photos. Which is weird, because Monday morning I woke up thinking I had all of that 'in the bag'. Epic fail. In the short, none art version, I have to re-do all of my 'composing' of the Free My Mind series...and not just that. But edit each image that is in each of the pictures. So lets see, what is 3 times 20? Oh yes, sixty. So sixty photos to edit, then recompose them back together. Oh happy finals week to Julia.
Anyway, in my editing I realized my computer is moving super slow due to the 10,000 (not joking) photos I have on here. Obviously, I thought it was best to spend an entire night trying to delete photos from iPhoto AND my computer...apparently you have to do it to both...? Note: My computer knowledge is about on par with a 9 year old. Which actually might be over shooting considering every 3 year old knows how to work anything gadgety these days. You can guess my confusion, frustration and need of a drink in this whole process. So that took up last nights hours of what would have been spent sleeping in my warm cozy bed.
Now time for "Deep Thoughts With Julia"
So, I have photos that go all the way back to junior year of high school...and I realized something: Should I delete these photos/people completely out of my past? These photos are the only record of us being 'us'. Do I want to loose those or should I save them? My hard drive and brain are saying no, but there is something keeping me from dragging them over to my trash can icon. I know I wont 'need' those photos, but again, that is the only thing still connecting me to those friendships and relationships. I linger on some and wonder why I can't get rid of it. And others I have no problem with dumping them. Maybe I'm a little too nostalgic and can't let go of the ones that have happy memories tagging along with them. I think some are giving me trouble because I'm wondering this: I was happy in that image, and now, I can't believe I was happy...so do I save it because of the past happiness or get rid of it because of the lack of happiness I associate with it now?
With those questions in mind, I stopped and actually worked on my photos for college. And this whole process of duplicating every image is stressful. I'm so in love with every image, I want it to be exactly the same as it was the first time. But here's the thing about that, it will never be the exact same. I changed some size, rotated to some angle or cropped it in a certain way. With all that said, I need to stop looking at the original photo and simply use the same images, arrange them in a similar matter, and not be too picky.
And I think this idea can go with this other 'problem' at hand. It is nice to have a reference point; I want to keep these old photos so I can know what it was like, what that friendship was, what was important and so great about that relationship...but I cannot linger on those forever. I need to stop analyzing and trying to get every photo to appear like the 'originals', any new photo or relationship I create will never be like the older ones. I want to concentrate on the current 'photos' I'm making. (Did ya get that metaphor for photos being relationships? -wink-)
Decision: Keep the photographs that make me smile right now.
I think that is a good way to approach life these days.
Does anyone remember reading my post about my social life being over? And how I have sooo much to do that I need to never leave my studio? Yah. I wish I had re-read that yesterday when I decided to go to the Renaissance Festival instead of working. Woops.
However, as soon as I arrived I knew I had made the right choice. That place is a-m-a-z-i-n-g. To say the least, my mind was completely blown. How did I not know how great it was to walk around in a 'village', drinking, eating turkey legs AND seeing some crazies?? At some point in the adventure I made the personal choice to dress up next year. I don't think I will ever regret that life decision. Ever.
Pretty much, yesterday was great. I loved being with my friends, who were, if not more, equally excited to be amongst the awesomeness that is Ren Fest. I'm feeling a little sentimental today, and I'm just wondering how I found such a great group of friends? God must have known I needed to some art lovin, Ren Fest going, have a drink before class kind of friends. Mad props to you God. Mad props.
Instead of writing all about the epic-ness that is Renaissance Festival...I think pictures will do much more than I can here on my Mac.
Warning: The emotion you are about to experience is called jealousy. I completely understand why you are feeling this way, and I just want to let you know, it is o.k. Just embrace it.
Giant, Scottish Men. Yup. Love that.
Half Man, Half Horse. No Biggie.
Turkey legs, beer and a grown adult man in cap. Yup. We're here alright.
Jello Shots. YES!
Homeboy, this is the RENAISSANCE festival. Get it together team, get it together.
One quote could very easily describe the Six Family Thanksgiving.
"Julia. People who don't like cream cheese are a little suspect. And if they don't like cream cheese, I would only have to assume their families don't know how to cook at at all." -My Mother
Clearly, Thanksgiving 2011 was a success. I so enjoyed being home with my family, my good friends and obviously, a lot of great food; most of which having at least 1 log of cream cheese in it. No complaints.
Black Friday was yesterday, can anyone guess where Louise and I stopped off first? Naturally, Hobby Lobby. But as everyone who hasn't been living under a rock for the last 7 years knows that Best Buy and Wal Mart are OUT. OF. CONTROL. We most defiantly did not venture into that mess. But we did drive by. Actually I drove by the afternoon of Thanksgiving. And I have some thoughts on that whole situation happening.
I totally understand and completely L-O-V-E getting a good deal on some fun toys. However, spending your Thanksgiving in a line outside of Best Buy to get a TV is whack. I know for my family, and I'm assuming for most, TG is all about family, friends and food. It makes me a little upset that these people are so wired to get a good deal on some electronics that they sacrifice most of the entire day to get that 60 inch tv and speakers. That makes no sense to me. At all.
Anyway, today is Saturday and I'm having a little Abilene hangover. I'm back in Huntsville, which is a place I love so much. But I'm missing all the things that are such blessings in my life, that are all in Abilene. But to sooth this feeling, I went and bought some fresh flowers for my studio, semi finished a piece of art that I've been so stressed about AND will be watching Harry Potter later this afternoon. Life is good today.
I do have some things on my mind this afternoon, but as the day keeps moving along, I'm starting to really come to understand the concept of being patient. (Being patient is on the very bottom of the list that would be titled, 'Things Julia Is Good At...') If I could change one thing about myself it would be that. Why do I have such a hard time just waiting to see how things pan out? I wish so much I could be that girl that just goes with the flow all the time and never worries about anything. That is not me. BUT, because that is not me, I do get a lot of things done, I reach all of my goals I set for myself and have the life I do because of this 'I must get this done and figured out' mentality.
So maybe what I need to think about is, what does being patient really mean?. I'm pretty positive that being patient and having faith go hand in hand. I know things are the way they are for a reason. Today I will focus on that, focus on the idea that God has this all planned out and it isn't my job to urge others to change so I can stop being patient. That seems like a healthy thing to think about today.
Here are a few photos from Thanksgiving 2011.
Gettin' the rolls ready! (I did cook more than this...I swear.)
Louise and her "Happy (turkey) Day" Sign. She was so proud of her drawing.
First I'd just like to say, there is nothing like being home. And when I say home I mean: eating Taco Bueno over any steak house, going to the same bar we've been going to for years, to the end where I'm curled up in the blanket I made in 4th grade. (yah. I went to sewing camp. My mom had me domesticated by the age of 10.)
Let's just have a quick recap of this first night back in Abilene.
'The Gang' and I went to a classic Abilene hang out - a hotel bar. Because that's how we roll here. While there, we met a new friend. He's from California. He is a rather large dark skinned man. His name is Rick. But he prefers to be called Blackie Chan. So us and B.C. all bonded over shots and his first sip of Shiner. All was going as expected when hanging out with a man that chooses to go by Blackie Chan...then a cop walked in and his first question from across the room to him was "are you arrestin' people?" cop says no. B.C. replies with "Good. But you just busted my damn buzz up." Classic Blackie Chan.
At this point, Kent and I decided this bar needs to start hoppin', and that obviously led to us picking the best song ever to play in an Abilene bar full of cowboys..."Hot In Here" - Nelly. I mean, seriously. WHAT ELSE WOULD WE PICK?
All in all, it is nice to come home for a while. I love that I don't have to talk to anyone from here for years, but the minute we are reconnected, time hasn't passed at all. That is whats just so amazing about your hometown...these people know you, and no matter how much you change, they still know you to your core. I love that about Abilene and the people I surround myself while here.
Clearly, this is an epic-ly amazing start to Thanksgiving Break 2011. Let the good times roll.
I'm about to drive home for the Thanksgiving break and I have so much on my mind this morning. I'm thinking about how fast a year can happen. Has it really been a year since my world essentially fell apart? It's an odd feeling. The idea that those events happened and now I'm a year stronger, a year wiser and a year more full of the important things...but at the same time, those feelings seem so fresh today. How is that? How do we move on from something and not think about it consciously and then all of a sudden it hits you?
It wasn't until a couple days ago and I realized that all of my most recent art has been about those happenings. And again, not even purposefully creating with it in mind. It's odd how something can change so much about you, without you knowing it. This post is a little depressing, and I hate that. But rather than putting on my usual Fun Happy Goofy Julia persona on, today I need to feel these things, process them, and move on. But as I type that I'm just wondering, how many times do I need to move on from one certain event to really get to that point that I'm completely gone from it? Does it work like that? Or do these kind of things effect you forever? I don't think that is a bad thing. I think having something that rattles you so much, makes you notice the greats in your life. Which is a lovely way to start this Thanksgiving break. Being so aware of how many people truly do care about you, and how necessary they become in our lives to even function. I have so many people that are Greats in my life. And that is something to celebrate. It's a bittersweet day. I will take the bitter with thoughts of all the sweets. And maybe that will distract me from the next 5 hours in a car with me, my mind, and my forever going thoughts.
However, today is my favorite mothers birthday! And that is plenty of sweet thoughts to get me through anything I encounter in my life. Happy Birthday Louise!
A very beautiful photo of us on our trip to Romania. Right after we heard we didn't have a priv-a-c-hood.
(privacy hood, those Dutch accents are hard to understand some times...)
Why is everything so much better when you have your headphones in, even in an empty room? There is something about not having any outside noise reaching your mind that is so lovely. It's just you and the music. Sometimes I sit in my studio at night, only the christmas lights on and a cup of hot coco and just take a moment to be still. That is one thing I have a hard time doing. Being still. I'm sure my mother has preached several sermons on this idea, but today I'm really thinking about how I need to master this art.
Funny that I'm talking about the idea of being still...when my current photo series is all about the constant ideas flowing in and out of my mind.
Photo from the series "Free My Mind" by Me, Julia Six
As you can probably see from the photo...my mind is always working. Which is why I am going on 5 hours of sleep today. Oh yes. Being an over-thinking insomniac is just the best combo anyone could have ever dreamed of! But here is a photo that I need to look at more, it's that part of my head that I need to visit more often. The still, soothing, not over analyzing part that I so rarely come in counter with. I will focus on this image for a while, with my head phones playing the new Katie Herzig album and just be still for a couple of moments.
Photo from the series "Free My Mind" by Me, Julia Six
That was nice. Now I have work. Least it's a non-thinking job.
When did it all of a sudden become 2 days before Thanksgiving break? And why did I just notice ALL of the work I have to get done? Time has flown by, and crap. What have I been doing that has 'prevented' me from getting my shit together? True, I have had a very social semester, so no issues on that front. But now I'm a little bit worried. Between now and finals week this is my check list: build a wooden box, finish a metal sculpture, start and finish a ceramic installation that has 100 pieces, install a show, finish final photos for 3 class...not to mention go to work. Pretty much, I need to say good bye to my social life and get my college life together. But I really don't like the sound of that at all.
On a completely different note, for those of you who don't know, I work at Campus Callers. Pretty much I call alumni for money. Awesome way to spend 3 nights a week. I know. I can feel your jealousy already. So tonight we started calling my college, College of Fine Arts and Mass Communication. First off: those people are not very happy to be hearing from me. And second: they don't have any money to be giving. So this makes me nervous for my future. I only had 1 out of 105 calls that was doing something in the art world. Shit. Is that what I will be doing with my art degree that I've worked so hard for? Being a massage therapist? Clearly today has been overwhelming for many a reason.
I would love to say I'm off to get a beer with friends, but that is the last thing I have time for. Sigh.
Studio
here I come.
This is my 1st of 2 ceramic installations I'm working on. 100 pieces baby. Now time to start/finish the second one. Can you feel my stress yet?
Anyone wondering why I named my blog "The Side Streets"?
There is a song by Matt & Kim and the first line in that song is "Show me the side streets in your life." I love that so much. The idea that everyone you meet can see the main roads in your life. Examples that most people know about me that aren't a secret: I hate working out, I drink a lot of hot coco, I drive an obnoxious yellow car, I laugh at my own jokes on the reg, I am short.
But my side streets, those are different. Side streets are the ones that most people don't see; the thoughts I have, the places I go when I'm happy or sad, the reason why I am the way I am. As I'm sure you've noticed, this blog is more about what's going on in my head...that my friend, is the biggest side street that we all have. But how many people are we willing to show them to? I think once you show someone those, they either want to spend the whole time in those winding, weaving, sometimes circling roads...or they want to get back on the main road and not get too deep into the areas that get confusing.
While I'm sipping my tea this morning, I'm worried. I'm worried that if I let someone sneak a peak into the crossing that would be labeled "Vulnerable and Honest" will they want to run as fast as they can to get back to the main road...or will they want to linger for a while.
This whole idea of the truth being a side street is scary. Again, what if the idea of even getting close to that intersection of my mind proves to be too much....I guess it's all about risk today.
But then I think to myself...while being honest is one of the scariest things to do as a person, the fact is, I have never regretted being honest. There has never been a time in my life that I have looked back on and said "Damn. If only I hadn't been truthful, this wouldn't have happened." Nope. Honesty is the key my friends.
Ending this post with a quote from a Carol King song, and a prayer for myself and you.
I pray I meet people in my adventures that only want to be in the side streets, and can never get enough of those curvy roads.
"I know you will be honest if you can't always be kind."
My favorite thing about Friday's aren't just the fact that I don't have college, but the spirit that surrounds this day. The feeling of fun, excitement and spontaneity that lies ahead for the weekend. How will I spend these next fall days?
Writing letters to several friends has occupied some of my day, while eating lunch with my art friends has also been checked off the list. Here is the thing about college. And it's something I'm just now realizing. (Yes. I am in my 5th year of college.)
It's amazing to think that my parents have been supporting me while I essentially play adult. That's not saying I don't have things to do, and I don't get them done. Because I do, I rarely let the imaginary ball drop. So when Friday morning wakes me, I have a sense of freedom. I can do whatever I want. See whom ever I want. Be where ever I want. Okay, all of those things do come with some limits, obviously. But lately, all of those things are in my reach in this booming city of Huntsville, Texas. Which is C-RAZY to admit.
Again, I go back to the idea of how our parents have all let us go live on our own, have our own apartments and make our own life choices. Naturally, I understand this life I have built for myself will never be the same once I enter post-grad life. Because that is when they stop paying the bills and Julia has to actually be an adult. As I near that world, I know things will change, some for the bad, but I firmly believe growing older is a gift. I think about all the things that adulthood will bring, and I'm almost certain that the pros the out weigh the cons.
Today I will be focusing on the fact that I get to play. I get to enjoy my amazing friends. And I get to do the things that make me feel most like myself. Creating, laughing, writing and maybe a little beer.
Cyanotype I made this week. This photo feels like Friday.
As I near my last semester as an undergraduate co-ed (as my mother would say), I felt like I needed to start writing every day. I want to remember these last few months. I don't want them to get lost in the blur that is college.
While I write this first blog, (okay. I did have another blog this summer, but this is a new project as I have said. And with all new tasks, one needs to start a-fresh.) my mind is wandering back and forth. From relationships to the grilled cheese sandwich I had for dinner. I'm wondering why sometimes I feel like I am in a constant state of guessing, over thinking, and in general trying to map out my life. I'm not sure why I need so many plans...maybe it is because I live in my head. With plans, I can put it on paper, and get them out. Then I only need to re-read them, not re-analyze them.
I guess what this first post is about...well it's about the fact that I'm setting myself a goal that is not only therapeutic for me, but maybe some humor will come out of my fingers and into your heart. And that ladies and gentlemen, is what it's all about. Because isn't that what we all need on a daily basis. Well, I'm my case, an hour + is too long to not find any joy and humor in something.
So here we go. Project Blog. Let's rock and roll.
