Finals are upon me and HELLO STRESS! So far only one break down this week (yes, I'm aware it is only Wednesday.But that's pretty good considering everything I have to do.) The most time consuming part of getting things together for finals is my photos. Which is weird, because Monday morning I woke up thinking I had all of that 'in the bag'. Epic fail. In the short, none art version, I have to re-do all of my 'composing' of the Free My Mind series...and not just that. But edit each image that is in each of the pictures. So lets see, what is 3 times 20? Oh yes, sixty. So sixty photos to edit, then recompose them back together. Oh happy finals week to Julia.
Anyway, in my editing I realized my computer is moving super slow due to the 10,000 (not joking) photos I have on here. Obviously, I thought it was best to spend an entire night trying to delete photos from iPhoto AND my computer...apparently you have to do it to both...? Note: My computer knowledge is about on par with a 9 year old. Which actually might be over shooting considering every 3 year old knows how to work anything gadgety these days. You can guess my confusion, frustration and need of a drink in this whole process. So that took up last nights hours of what would have been spent sleeping in my warm cozy bed.
Now time for "Deep Thoughts With Julia"
So, I have photos that go all the way back to junior year of high school...and I realized something: Should I delete these photos/people completely out of my past? These photos are the only record of us being 'us'. Do I want to loose those or should I save them? My hard drive and brain are saying no, but there is something keeping me from dragging them over to my trash can icon. I know I wont 'need' those photos, but again, that is the only thing still connecting me to those friendships and relationships. I linger on some and wonder why I can't get rid of it. And others I have no problem with dumping them. Maybe I'm a little too nostalgic and can't let go of the ones that have happy memories tagging along with them. I think some are giving me trouble because I'm wondering this: I was happy in that image, and now, I can't believe I was happy...so do I save it because of the past happiness or get rid of it because of the lack of happiness I associate with it now?
With those questions in mind, I stopped and actually worked on my photos for college. And this whole process of duplicating every image is stressful. I'm so in love with every image, I want it to be exactly the same as it was the first time. But here's the thing about that, it will never be the exact same. I changed some size, rotated to some angle or cropped it in a certain way. With all that said, I need to stop looking at the original photo and simply use the same images, arrange them in a similar matter, and not be too picky.
And I think this idea can go with this other 'problem' at hand. It is nice to have a reference point; I want to keep these old photos so I can know what it was like, what that friendship was, what was important and so great about that relationship...but I cannot linger on those forever. I need to stop analyzing and trying to get every photo to appear like the 'originals', any new photo or relationship I create will never be like the older ones. I want to concentrate on the current 'photos' I'm making. (Did ya get that metaphor for photos being relationships? -wink-)
Decision: Keep the photographs that make me smile right now.
I think that is a good way to approach life these days.
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